


One Word Stories

by applepieisworthit, lemoncannon (renioferebor), renioferebor, Scientist_Salarian



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Multi, fucking none of this is serious, like seriously, utter crack, we went a bit crazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:47:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3841102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applepieisworthit/pseuds/applepieisworthit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/renioferebor/pseuds/lemoncannon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/renioferebor/pseuds/renioferebor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scientist_Salarian/pseuds/Scientist_Salarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Very short stories in each chapter - utter crack - written by Thrain, Dain and Thror of the Sansukh podfic cast with the one word story game.</p>
<p>There is swearing and weird smut etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take anything seriously!!! They were written by sleep deprived very silly idiots.

Bilbo was sitting with a chicken next to him when suddenly Thorin appeared from nowhere. Thorin was carrying a second breakfast which looked disgusting. Bilbo decided not to eat Thorin’s disgusting cock. Thorin was disappointed and decided to go have another sex partner whose name was Dwalin. Dwalin was not impressed with Thorin and Thorin’s majestic cock.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same summary as last chapter

A horse named Petunia was standing by the river when an orc appeared out of nowhere; the orc smiled creepily and ate the horse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Thrór smiled creepily when he saw the arkenstone, he was enthralled by the glittering. He wished that he had found something equally nice when he was turning fifty. The arkenstone turned his brain into mush and made a dragon appear over Erebor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Denial is a beautiful thing that everyone should indulge in from time to time, especially if they see a naked person wearing socks. This can cause many horrible nightmares and waking screaming at the sight, especially at 3am. If they accidentally walk into a familiar naked relative, then run in opposite direction.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Fish are your best friend since they smell nice; they are dead in chocolate mousse and beautiful cake. This aquatic masterpiece can sometimes help to maintain good health and sometimes cures genital herpes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Once upon a time, there was a frog who hopped into a slough and nearly hit the bottom and swallowed a big dick. The gagging of the frog was loud and disgusting because it led into choking and vomiting which covered the whole dick in slime from the frog’s arse.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Weirdness runs in the Durin line which means they’re utterly fucked especially Thráin and Thrór who likes big cuddles and lots of gold. That is not a healthy obsession because cuddles and sex are Thrór’s favourite pastimes that ruin his concentration when he is sucking lollipops at work.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Dáin is a big beautiful dick which licks other’s cocks with abandon because he loves lots of attention when he is lonely and horny especially when he can't find Thira.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Bicycle Thráin is a slut.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

When Thira punched Dwalin, Dáin cheered loudly because he thought Dwalin was being a arsehole. When he cheered for violence he creamed himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Awkward Dwarf dads have a big problem; it’s called “wives”. They sometimes cause anxiety attacks in the middle of sex which dampens the mood very effectively. Performance issues are horrible burdens especially if you’re Thrór.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> same as before

Lost virginity is fun especially when you lose it to your brother or Da. #AWKWARDDURINCEST.


End file.
